Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Urgent and delusional

2011 was off to a good start with the first ever Master Plan 2011 (for Kicking Ass), which started out with the New Orleans RNR Half Marathon in February and included two "A" races that would wrap up my intense training and racing year in early October:

Of course, the Master Plan went through many revisions, including the addition of another, tragic marathon in June which resulted in me being injured from June through October.

I pushed it too hard. I was using the Furman First, Run Less, Run Faster training program and loved the intensity of it but my body cried uncle after 5 straight months with essentially no break. I trained hard and was surprisingly compliant with the rigorous schedule despite all the other challenges in life that demand our time and energy.

So why was I pushing so hard? A sense of urgency. I had a lot to accomplish in 2011 because the Master Plan 2012 includes some big changes. 2011 was my year to get it all done.

I added the Seattle RNR Marathon as my first full for two reasons:
  1. I was impatient. I was feeling so good with the RLRF training, I really wanted to dive in and start marathon training. After the Indy Mini, I felt I could accomplish anything!
  2. Boston Marathon qualifying times were becoming more stringent in Sept. 2011. Portland was AFTER the new standards would be in place and I wanted my shot before the tough got tougher.
So not only did I feel the need to complete my first marathon in 2011, I needed that first shot to be a Boston qualifier. (This is where Adam's unicorn starts peeing rainbows.) The pipe dream continues with me running Boston with a small bun in the oven and huge smile on my face. I would then take a brief sabbatical from running, knowing I had left my 30's running career with a firework finish and then would re-start in the master's age group after #2 was sleeping through the night.

Yup. That's why I needed to cram so much into one year, one race, and why it hurt so bad, why it was so devastating to have it all fall apart 14 miles into my marathon. My big race where I was on a sub-BQ pace and feeling great.

Do you wonder what color the sky was in my fantastical world when I was dreaming up this big plan? I do!

Making time to run with TWO kids is possible (THANK YOU blogging, running parents out there for inspiration, showing how it can be done), but I know from #1 that the first six months (at least) is ROUGH.

No sleep = no energy = no running.

I have feared that after #2 comes (date undetermined as not preg YET), I really won't know how soon I will get to start training again or how seriously I will be able to train. It may sound petty to worry about this when we're talking about the incredible joy of having a child, but I NEED to run. I need to run and need to make challenges for myself, especially since having a child.

So there it is. A confession of a delusional running mom who wanted it all before life got a bit crazier and more unpredictable.

I don't want to give up on running goals for 2012 even with life (my BODY) taking a big turn but I am still thinking about the Master Plan. (Kim, I plan on planning some early 2012 races!) One thing I do know, I hope to channel Zoe and run throughout my pregnancy!


  1. Oh geez, what a plan and what a year. It all seemed so reasonable in the moment but looking back, wow. Don't feel bad, we all do this to ourselves at some point, in one way or another.
    Sometimes though I think we have to let things happen in their own time. I CAN tell you that masters racing is wonderful and running with little ones in tow is possible and so are BQ's. Don't beat yourself up too much. Live and learn and go into 2012 as well prepared as possible. In body, mind and spirit.

  2. Wait? So are you actually pregnant now or trying? :)

    I don't think you were delusional at all. I had my own fits of delusion...I'm still having them. I'm trying to cram 10 races that I really want to do into the first quarter of the year. That way, if I get pregnant quickly I would have had some fun!

    The saving grace is that we both know that you can eventually get back to training and running seriously. You can get your speed back. You can get everything back. It just might take a while.

  3. I don't think you are delusiona, but I think as mom's we try to fit it all in, make it all perfect. Life doesn't always allow for that. I hope 2012 is FAB for you!

  4. You are pregnant? Did I miss something or am I just really *that* far behind on your blog?

    Thinking about what happened to you in June makes my heart break for you still. Ugh. What a shitty thing to have happen.

  5. The sky is blue in Maui! Woo hoo, early 2012 will be great, then bring on the baby.

  6. Did I miss a pregnancy announcement? If so, congrats. If not, good luck.

    I ran through pregnancy #3. Logged 8 miles 2 days before delivery and was back at it when Dilly was 21 days old. You can do anything! I know it!

  7. I second all of the above. Did I miss an announcement?!

  8. adding to the questions…is #2 on the way? Very proud of all of your accomplishments this year!

  9. I'm also wondering if I missed a pregnancy announcement? Regardless a huge congrats!

  10. Well, come and cry on my shoulder any time about a disappointing year, you and I can certainly understand one another well. I fully get your urgency to put everything into one race and what a let-down it was. I am sorry. But I know you are strong and eventually you will get that BQ you so long for. I had to wait longer than I wanted, until my kids were a bit older and I could get in more sleep. Not ideal, but eventually it all worked out...and I know it will for you, too! Keep being strong in 2012....can't wait to see all the changes coming :). Happy New year!!

  11. I had the same urgency with the boston qualifications changing. Frustrating!

    I finally realized that I just had to work hard and if it happened it happened. :) I'm still chasing that unicorn!

  12. Alma, you are nothing short of amazing, and I have no doubt in my mind that you'll be a great running mama with 2 kids. Running through your pregnancy too! You dreamed big, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. 2012 will be your year, though!