Saturday, September 17, 2011

Plea from purgatory

I know, I know. They got rid of purgatory decades ago during Vatican II. However, they clearly did NOT consult with the Running Goddess when they made that decision because I am very much stuck in a purgatory right now.

Ever since I got the green light to run, I've been in a funk. I was so motivated with my cross-training while in re-hab and then I started running, thinking I had "made it," but then I gradually stopped cross-training. But I'm not really running either. I'm running but not able to train.

HELL: The calf is sore after my runs so I feel like I have to be very cautious and I feel like I can get re-injured in a heartbeat.

HEAVEN: On the other hand, I've had some fantastic, intense runs that make me feel alive again.

I just bounce back & forth between the two extremes. 

Running but not training. It's a purgatorial suckhouse.

People tell me to "just relax, just enjoy running for the sake of running!" I try. I can't. Really, I don't want to just run to run. Why?

I'M HUNGRY! 

I was so primed and ready to rock when I got injured, I have all this pent up FIRE. I have UNFINISHED BUSINESS!

I STILL GOT MY BUSINESS SOCKS ON!  

and they won't come off. I was on my way to finishing my first marathon with a kick-ass time. I was supposed to be training for Portland Marathon (3 weeks away) all summer with my friend and TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN my last 20-miler before the big taper. But none of that came to be. My dream reality that wasn't.

Purgatory madness.

Don't worry, I'm working on a plan. I'm going to claw my way out of limbo. It's not what the Master Plan for 2011 was going to be, but I think it will make the most of what I have left of 2011.

Stay tuned.

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And in case anyone is curious...the GIANT zucchini that made the bike commute home with me yielded 9 cups of finely shredded zucchini. That's a LOT but I was ready for the challenge of using every bit. Those 9 cups were used up in 1 day:
  • 2 big loaves of zucchini bread with walnuts
  • Quadruple batch of sweet potato veggie patties (froze, saving as snacks for the little guy)
  • Double batch of zucchini pancakes. THESE were bomb. Served with herbs and parm cheese. Heaven.
This weekend, I've set myself up for another round of "cooking in vats" by purchasing an insane amount of tomatillos. More on that later.



4 comments:

  1. Boo. :( How long do you think it'll be before you're fully healed? By the way, I love the term "suckhouse." I'm stealing that.

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  2. I love zucchini - it's SOOO versatile! We even managed to convince the strangers behind us at the football game yesterday to share their zucchini bread with us!

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  3. I have been there before with an injury & currently back there again - recovering from surgery. Hold onto to that "desire" - you will get there. Training IS so different from running - i am not sure how I am going to mentally starting over......
    If you can cheer for your friend at Portland - you are sure to pick up some of the mojo there!!

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  4. THose zucchini treats sound wonderful.I feel your pain and hope things turn around soon soon soon.

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